Living Large In Our Little House , Archive ? The Stuff that Makes our ...

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When I wrote the post, ?The Stages of Eliminating Stuff,? I wrote about let?ting go of the sen?ti?men?tal?ity of some of the stuff we had, which was my mother?s. She and my father used to antique quite a bit and I had some very large pieces.

Obviously, we don?t have room for a lot of big fur?ni?ture. I knew what she loved most and I loved most of the same pieces and resolved to find a use and space for?them.

One of our Living Large com?mu?nity, Martin, made some good points in a com?ment: ?I have antiques from Great Aunts/Grandparents/parents who worked hard to buy them?they came (from) Ireland with noth?ing and from what you are work?ing to go to as a life style. I would find it is dis?re?spect?ful to dump these things-they are more than sentiment?they are fam?ily his?tory. With that said-there are so many other things I real?ize I can and will part with, but not the fam?ily history!!?

His com?ment first made me doubt whether I should be elim?i?nat?ing any of these things from our lives and also won?der if there are dif?fer?ent sets of rules for items con?sid?ered to be fam?ily his?tory, rather than just stuff, or even stuff with sen?ti?men?tal?ity attached.

I once again con?fronted my doubts as many of these antiques that were so prized by my mother are still sit?ting in our stor?age build?ing. I know how hard my father worked and I?was on many of the antique shop?ping adven?tures with them when some of those items were pur?chased. I also know how hard my mother worked to restore many of the pieces.

Believe me, I once whole?heart?edly agreed with Martin. That?s why our 1,100?square foot house in the city was stuffed full of fur?ni?ture and stuff my mother had already given?us.

Maybe 10?years ago, I read a remark?able essay by a woman who had just lost her mother. Like mine, her mother col?lected antiques and had many prized pos?ses?sions. This woman wrote the essay after stor?ing her mother?s belong?ings for a year. She kept what she could and gave to her chil?dren what they wanted.

At the time, I won?dered how any?one could part with some?thing that belonged to their mother, but as I thought more about it and even?tu?ally had to clean out my own mother?s apart?ments twice, my out?look changed.

It?s not until you have to sort through 82?years of your parent?s lives in the stuff they leave behind that the real?ity hits you that in the end, you can?not take it with you and what you?re leav?ing is a lot of heart-wrenching work for the fam?ily you also leave behind.

There are things I will not ever part with such as that dry sink, her read?ing lamp, her china and a new find ? the let?ters she wrote to my father while he was sta?tioned in the Army dur?ing WWII. But I?ve come to the con?clu?sion that I can?not keep it all sim?ply because it was cher?ished by my mom or is a part of my child?hood memories.

My nephews do not want these huge pieces and our daugh?ters live out of the country.

In this thought process, I?ve come up with a few tips for part?ing with stuff that is a part of your fam?ily history:

• Assess its sen?ti?men?tal value to your fam?ily his?tory: The first thing you must do is assess how impor?tant this item is to your fam?ily his?tory. Did your great-great grand?par?ents bring the item from their home?land? Is it a part of your fam?ily history's story, which means it must be some?thing more than someone's baby blan?ket. It must be cen?tral to who your fam?ily?is.
• A place for every?thing and every?thing in its place: If you haven?t built your small home yet, take these items into con?sid?er?a?tion. Where will they be placed? Can they take on multi-purpose use? When my aunt built her home down the road from us, she designed one wall in her kitchen to specif?i?cally fit an oddly shaped cor?ner cab?i?net that was a fam?ily heir?loom.? Think about your design and?uses.
• Giving it away: If you can?not use it and don?t want to store it, the best thing is to give the item to another fam?ily mem?ber who might appre?ci?ate it and its his?tory. If no one in your fam?ily is inter?ested, how about donat?ing it to the local his?tor?i?cal or cul?tural soci?ety? If the piece has a mon?e?tary value, find a rep?utable antiques appraiser and?sell.
• Document: If you have to part with your beloved relative?s antiques, you can doc?u?ment them for?ever by tak?ing pho?tographs and plac?ing them into a spe?cial mem?ory album and/or record?ing it all on video. You can go back and revisit those items anytime!

Do you have a lot of items that are part of your fam?ily his?tory? What would you never part with? If mov?ing to a smaller space, how would you deal with?it?

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